Here's a Hymn To Welcome In The Day...

Over the previous weekend I went camping with friends and last Thursday I saw the Decemberists perform their album "Castaways and Cutouts" in full, along with another hour long set of their favorites.

All this music and these experiences have made me begin thinking, and even though the weather has changed, I still feel a sense of deep loneliness bounded up within me.

I don't like to complain, and I try to hide it from the people I do hangout with right now, but I miss what I had in college. I really do miss the previous four years of my life, and the amount of love, friendship, and acceptance I experienced at Warren Wilson College. I really have been struggling after leaving.

It seems as though the "real world" is full of people who talk slander on others, who use derogatory terms like there is no tomorrow, and have to respect or acknowledgement of the complicatedness and sensitivity of reality. It's a deep problem, which many good hearted people have outside of college. I guess I was just too eager to get out of the academic sphere, and painted too fruity of images of what everyday life would be like.

I also was in proximity to my best friend at college, someone who I miss terribly, who I really would like to see again. Its amazing how much I didn't realize I would miss my friends and the atmosphere of being in college. Or maybe its just the people, friends, and atmosphere at a college such as Warren Wilson College. I don't know.

The Decemberists have also got me longing for a romantic connection again. The lack of a physical connection has done a toll on me. I really want a person to show intimacy with, and to hold and embrace and share a connection with.

So it only makes sense that during their performance of The Crane Wife (all three parts), I couldn't help but silently sing along, wondering where that crane may be.

But alas, its hard to find a crane, especially when there are so many people who don't accept you for what you are. And when you think you've found someone you hit it off with really well, or at least acknowledges your existence as a decent human being, they are either already with someone, and/or off to Alaska.

Ugh. Life.