Those of you who know me really well may know that while I may be happy much of the time, I struggle a lot with confidence and sometimes I can get into some pretty large swings of negativity and self-doubt. This entry is a short addendum to the main blog post I put up over on my main blog "Washington to Washington". Click on the title there, or you can check out the most recent blog post here: "Capital Bikeshare and Exercise in the District"
I tend to rely heavily on friends when I enter into these spirals, and I have one specific friend to thank to bring me out of the negativity after I received the diagnosis of pre-diabetic. I will not name her here because I'm not sure if she wants to be mentioned in this blog, but needless to say I have her to thank for getting me up and out to do some sort of activity.
I try to appreciate and keep up with my friends, but I've been doing a really bad job of it lately. I know I'm not on Facebook as much as I should be, and I'm not as responsive as I should be when friends contact me. I can't make excuses for myself, but I can try to acknowledge some of the great times and people I've been missing since I graduated and we all went our separate ways.
College is still a time I look back upon nostalgically. Yeah, the last days of college were over three years go, but I still remember many a nights playing Rock Band and Mario Kart on the Wii, and dragging Magic The Gathering games out for hours. But the smaller instances are starting to fade. Like many of the great times in Gladfelter, and the in jokes and experiences I had when I was a freshman and sophomore. That was almost over 7 years ago now. Four years in college seemed at the time to last forever. But then the day came when I had to say goodbye to the campus, and leave my room for one last time. That was a weird night. I relied on my roommate and one of my best friends for that.
I also remember the many times at Waffle House at 3 in the morning with a couple of guys. We'd go out after hours of game play, and we'd sit at the bar and eat our breakfast plates and drink our coffee.
One of my fondest memories was driving around with friends. Be it to get a game, see a new place, or simply go into town. I loved to be with so many people.
I would call myself an introvert, but introvert in it's true form of the word. I'm not one who is shy or ambivalent about going somewhere (although I would say I sort of am now being alone a majority of the time), but one who needs to recharge after being in a demanding social situation. It doesn't mean I dislike the social situations. I just need a break from them every now and then.
This blog is more of a rambling stream of consciousness style rather than anything too thoughtful and constructed. I did have a negative section here, but I decided to take it out because I really wasn't in the mood to share my low feelings. It's been a couple of days, and I've read over this a little more, and realize that life is good, and that while bad things have been happening, we have victories as well. And I really need to take more time to look and reflect more on those instead of living in the past.
Needless to say, thank you to all of my friends who I have relied on in the past and keep touch with me to this day. I know I may be more hidden and holed away now more than ever, but you all still play such a huge role in my life, and I couldn't imagine a world without you all.
