Let's get the exciting trip stuff out of the way first:
At Mammoth Cave I took a more detailed cave tour than I did the first time i was there. The tour was the Dripstones & Domes tour, and led down 300 feet of vertical cave shafts and across a long cave passage to the Frozen Niagara formations, and back out the other side of the ridge. It was quiet a spectacle to behold.
Sadly I didn't take many pictures because I was too busy being in awe of everything around me. Also I've been developing this question of why I should take pictures when I should be experiencing what I am doing in full when I am doing it. (But that is for another post.)
As a compensation, have a picture of me driving the rental across one of the last rural ferries in the Eastern United States:
After visiting a creepy church built in 1842, we drove down to Birmingham, stayed the night in a hotel, and then the next day to New Orleans.
I moved my sister in, and then we went to a nice dinner and had some delicious ice cream among the mid 60 degree weather. I booked an Airbnb for the stay that night, and then in a small suburb south of Nashville called Spring Hill for the drive back North. While in New Orleans I did meet a really sweet cat outside my Airbnb whose name was Fergal, and was so docile and wanted attention. Sitting down on the porch, petting him, enjoying the damp, cool air, and hearing the bustle around me. I was truly happen then, and just wished I could keep that fleeting feeling.
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| The pretty Fergal baby. This was the only time I could get a good picture of him, other times he just kept rubbing up against my arm. |
All in all it was an uneventful drive back North; the same way I'd come with a little deviation to Jackson, Mississippi because I thought I'd be able to drive the Natchez Trace Parkway back to Nashville. I didn't end up driving it because it had gotten too dark by then.
So the search for work goes on. I am in a bind because i want to be in a place that values work and where the employees are dedicated, enthusiastic, and invested in what they are doing. The places with job openings are old, traditional, and/or status quo, and I usually don't have the experience to apply.
The places I want to work don't have open positions, or haven't responded to the one's I've applied to.
I'm worried there will never be a place I want to work. I'm worried that all of the places out there are dedicated volunteers working for little to no pay, or are miserable desk jobs that sustain a living. That there is no equal medium. But I try to not let that worry me too much. I just have to keep saying I will find something. (I mean it's only been a couple of months, so I really shouldn't be worrying too much yet.)
As for my personal life: I don't know what to really think. The holiday depression comes and goes, and I take solace in the fact that there are people out there who love me, and care about how I am. Now that I am in a hopefully short transition between two points in my life, I am reevaluating what decisions I've made, and how I can go forward from those decisions to try and make things better.
I also keep telling myself that it is my brain that plays these tricks on me, and that I need to keep up with the checks I have in place to make sure I can reign it back in to a manageable level and get my headspace back on track. I need to muster up the effort needed to overcome my apathy and get some shit done.
I feel as though there should be some nice ending to go here that is all inspiring and stuff, but I can't quite seem to get anything. I'm sure things will turn up. Just gotta give it time.
