One of my favorite things about meeting new people is the things you do with them. The conversations you have. The sun you take.
But my god. It takes. For. Ever.
To be fair. I wasn't giving it much initiative, and because of that it was giving me little in returns.
Breaking out of that mold cast around yourself is tough. Well, it is for me.
Its strange, but when looking around, I guess college was much of the same for me. By the end of the first year and into the second year I was starting to take off. Maybe that will happen here? Why did it seem like I was so much more depressed when I was here?
I think it's because I came from something so beautiful. But I won't let that overtake my happiness I have right now.
It has been nice, being invited out to hangout with people. For some reason this time it was different.
There wasn't an air of "Go! Go! Go!", nor "We will have fun!". There was no guarantee of that on this trip. Nor really a promise of relaxation or enjoyment. Basically it was phrased as "You're pretty cool people. Wanna go out for lunch & ice cream? I have no idea what it will be like, but we've seen each other a couple times at "group" functions, so lets go do something cool together now?"
And it was wonderful because we did... Absolutely nothing.
Well that was somewhat true. We did have lunch and ice cream.
But then we just went to the lake, spread out a blanket, and sat and talked for three hours. And it was effortless. Sometimes when things were not meant to be said, we just sat in silence, and listened to our surroundings. The beautiful day. The park, with its birds, families, and waves.
It was so. Slow. It was wonderful. I haven't been able to slow down like that with people in over a year.
Sure, I've been able to do it by myself, but you know, I can only do so much slow by myself. Once the discoveries are gone, you start asking yourself ridiculous questions to pass the time. Whether that be hours in a car over a well worn path, or days throughout the same old neighborhood.
So being able to slow down with people provides an entire multitude of options. Instead of one set of eyes, now you have three, and they compare their perception with yours, and that takes up hours by itself. Let alone that some people haven't been to where you go before? That can entertain days.
Slowing down has been on my mind as of late. There's been a lot of talk of it at church*, in the air around work, and on the Facebook feed. But as much as people tout trying to slow down, I have yet to see evidence of someone slowing down.
Sure, there is an escape for a bit. But to get to that escape: Go!
After that escape: Go!
An escape in a car: Go! Can't be late! Gotta make (x)** deadline!
Taking off shoes after a long day and sitting on the couch: Go! Your butt needs moving!
I'm not saying people don't know how to get away. Not at all. Everyone gets vacations.
It's the fact that for many, the journey does not mark the beginning of an escape. The open road cannot call them back down to 5 mph over the speed limit instead of 15.
Can people not drop their rush when they say they do? Its just a Go! culture, I know, but I feel so alone (less so now) because I don't know many people who say "Wait. Just. Sit down for a minute."
I'll conclude with another experience I had with these wonderful new friends:
After eating some ice cream, we went out to the street, and just stood there talking for 20 minutes. Really. We just kind of ambled in the sun, then ambled into the shade, and then decided to go stop ambling and just sit around for a bit.
I've been missing that wonderful sense that at some times, time doesn't have to be the end all for whatever you are doing. The end all can just be when you get hungry for dinner, or a lull pulls you into sleep.
*This "church" is a Unitarian Universalist church. It's not like your average churches. I'd recommend it if you are questioning your faith, or can't find a place to be spiritual without being religious. Folks are REALLY accepting, and will welcome you no matter what.
**This deadline is usually completely made up. There is no meeting, or court mandated time. Its the person's own psyche telling them to complete the task at hand as quickly and efficiently as possible.
